im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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