Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
