The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
