I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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