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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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