I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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