i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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