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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.

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• (559): View more from California

  Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"

  (707): View more from California

  Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat

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• (631): View more from New York

  You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low

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• (315): View more from New York

  So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...

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