Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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(607): View more from New York

You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(910): View more from North Carolina

In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

(919): View more from North Carolina

RIP Mr Bojangles.

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(512): View more from Texas

I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?

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(480): View more from Arizona

His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?

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