But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will be naked everywhere
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up