i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands