I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
