Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
