Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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