Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.