Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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