Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
