he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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