Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know her cup size but not her name....
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