I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize