It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
