Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
