i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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