i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wrigley field is MILF paradise
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
