I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
