John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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