i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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