ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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