I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
