There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
