My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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