Im at strip club and am horny
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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