She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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