When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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