i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
