haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my shit smells like andre
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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