butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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