Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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