My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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