3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
