Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
