Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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