And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
