Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
