You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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