So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
