I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
