There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
