Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
