if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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