i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
