I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
