Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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