David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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