My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
