He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
