We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
