i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
