I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got inside last night via doggy door
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
