So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
