Will you blow on my dice?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
