There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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