Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
birth control should be required to get into college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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