do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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