i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
