Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize