I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's never too late to be topless.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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