why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
