Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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