Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she was so not down for the gang bang
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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