Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
