its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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