just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
