I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
